Women Don't Want "It All"

September 1, 2016

The assumption that all women “want it all” annoys me.

 

What gets under my skin most is the speculation that women need—or have the time—to talk about “it all.” In my experience working with clients, I hear women talk about wanting to be fulfilled. They want work with a purpose and be proud of what they accomplish.

 

Last week, I was on a call with my business coach and I was frustrated with the fact that I’m so busy.

 

Why am I so busy?

 

  • I have this crazy belief that I have to work my butt off no matter what the task.

  • I am determined to be a freaking awesome, present mother.

  • A bit of my ego keeps me overly involved with my daughter’s school activities.

  • I have a deep desire to make my business successful.

 

My coach walked me through the issues of focus and busy work. While her advice was helpful, it wasn’t touching the core of my frustration. Then I said to her, “It’s one thing after another when you have your own business. You have to deal with yourself all the time. You don’t get to go away and forget about yourself and your issues. No, your issues keep coming up and you have to deal with them all the time.”

 

And this was her perfect response:

 

“It’s challenging because you’re in the ring, and how beautiful it is that, that is your life.  You are responsible for you. You’re not an employee who doesn’t think outside of the four walls; you don’t have a boring, safe life.

 

You have a beautiful, full life.  You’re awake and you are aware, and you are questioning yourself. You’re looking at “Why am I not doing this, and why am I not doing that, and how can I be better at this?” You are constantly growing and developing. Isn’t that an amazing way to live your life? I think it is.”

 

And I agreed with her wholeheartedly. For those of us who can’t help but raise the bar and challenge ourselves, congratulations.  

 

Our purpose isn’t about a certain career or working with certain people. Our purpose is to grow and expand and to matter. For me, having my life matter is having it all.

 

But to really handle all the twists and turns of growing into who you want to become, you have to love what you do. You have to love the challenge of learning about yourself and being willing to walk down that path.

 

I’ve spent time really thinking about this concept it has made me a better friend, coach, and parent. I’m grateful to have the space to be better.

 

For me, having it all is about having true freedom. It’s not freedom from the challenges of becoming the person I want to be; it’s being free to create the career and life I want.

 

It’s the freedom to shamelessly focus on my own personal and professional growth; to pursue what matters most in my life, and relentlessly seek out fulfillment on my own terms.

 

Many people don’t realize they have the opportunity to create their lives. If you are one of the brave souls who consistently finds yourself in the ring and facing the challenge of constantly growing and developing, take a moment to be thankful.  

 

You are one of the lucky ones.

 

How you feel about your ambition and the challenges of becoming the person you aspire to be?  

 

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